Despite the obvious set-back of having terrible eyesight which is – you know – not being able to see, the dilemmas that come with the deadly curse of poor vision really do have me typing with fury (read my wrath!).
I was whisked off to the eye doctor at just 9 years old after a friend told her mum I was copying her work (because I couldn’t see the board) and was then quickly diagnosed as ‘shortsighted’. It only got worse from there, and at each eye appointment after failing to read the little letters and having my optician uncomfortably close to my face as they peer into the depths of my eyes (A/N: Opticians, please don’t eat garlic before an appointment – we can smell all!) I was legally pronounced blind… okay not blind, but close enough!
Squinting is a way of life as a wearer of glasses, and as the optician attempts to identify the right prescription for my remedial vision, she fiddles with settings “Now, which is clearer” is the familiar question “this way or that way?” she says shifting the lenses. I normally reply with “ummm can I see again” to which she will again rephrase “This? Or that? … Thiiiiis or that?” and if I’m completely honest with you (which I usually am) they all genuinely look the same and the letters on the faraway boards are still as blurry – who knew you could mix up a N and a W!!?
My case may be extreme, now being a full-time glasses wearer (it’s a job in itself!) but you don’t have to be deep in the spectacled spectrum to relate to one or more of these poor eyesight experiences:
Can I try on your glasses?
You know at school, everyone finds it so fascinating that you wear glasses, it’s like you’re wearing a new species on your face or something… “and here are the extinct and valuable *cue drums* glasses”. So the second you walk into a school with a pair of glasses perched on your nose you get a loud herd of kids running towards you screaming “GLASSES” which follows with “do I suit these? No haha I don’t suit glasses” before they carry on to walk off wearing said glasses. Huh.
There’s nothing better than waking up to see the morning sun and the blue skies, well that’s what I’ve been told, I can’t see anything in the morning despite a blur of my phone flashing with the time, that is until I can muster the strength to reach over to my bedside table (which is just. so. far) to get my glasses so I can reclaim my sight.
The favourite question “How many fingers am I holding up?”
Well, plot twist; when you’re holding your fingers about an inch from my face, despite them being a blurry mess, I can usually still see how many badly manicured fingers you’re holding up… “3 fingers Barb, yep now 4, yes Barb I can see you took your hand away!” *roll eyes*
Falling asleep in contacts
I’ve only done it once, but let me say, once was enough to scar me for life. Never again. In fact, I would go as far as to say I would never wish ‘falling asleep wearing contacts’ upon my worst enemy. It’s a form of torture no human should have to endure (despite Donald Trump, he can sleep in contacts as much as his heart desires). Waking up after sleeping in contacts all night, is quite literally the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard – ‘nuff said.
Swimming. in. contacts.
Yes, I know you’re not supposed to but do you really think I’m going to wear glasses to the beach and not only risk the tan lines but also risk losing my glasses amongst the waves?
Please, the ‘glasses wearers’ of the world… tell me I’m not the only one!!
Words by Maija Lily