This week, #DebutDoll Molly, who hails from Chicago, Illinois, talks about her thoughts on taking a step back in life.
There has been a lot happening in the past year – if I sit down and think about all of it, it makes me go a little dizzy. I’ve been lucky enough to graduate school, move to the city full time, and landed a job in my ideal industry. In addition, I’ve kept up with freelance work and my blog, which is almost a second full time job at times. Yet, I kept looking around and waiting for something to be proud of… I couldn’t find it. I was blessed with loving, supporting family members and friends who have all made a point to tell me in recent months that they’re proud, but I didn’t feel it myself. Which started to drive me crazy.
I was feeling mislead, a little lost, and very confused about where I was going in life. I had everything that I was looking for – and everything I thought I had once wanted. So why didn’t my life magically click into place?
I realized that I was searching for a life that doesn’t exist. I was searching for perfection. For some reason, I felt that once I achieved things on my ‘To-Do’ list, all of my emotional hang-ups would go away. I thought that I wouldn’t be self conscious anymore, I wouldn’t be worried about my future. But accomplishing everything I thought I wanted to only amplified those fears. “Will I get a job?” turned into “Will I get a promotion?” Thoughts such as “Do I look okay?” and “Will they like me?” morphed into “I hope my boss likes me.”
Giving up my desire for a perfect life and perfect career was the biggest step that I’ve ever taken in my adult life – I felt like I was giving up. But I wasn’t giving up anything other than unrealistic expectations. I’ve realized how much about my life is decided by me and me alone, and how having a ‘perfect’ life and career are internal. Being the best you starts in your head with your mental health and how positive and kind you are to yourself.
For me, a huge step in the right direction has been meditating and spending time journaling each day. I’ve been able to feel at peace, relax, and turn off my brain at the end of a long day. It also helps me to write down and organize my thoughts, as well as remember what is happening in my life during this time.
Post-grad is a difficult field to figure out – especially if you’re an industry that can be as fickle as fashion and media. My biggest advice to those just starting out (in school, in internships, or in a post-graduate job) is to remember to be kind to yourself as often as possible – that’s what signifies a real girl boss.
Words: Molly Tullis
Tweet Molly @MollyTullis
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