He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves mee! How many of you have picked at a daisy in hope you land on “he loves me”? Although some of us are now too old to sit and play with daisies, the need to feel loved and wanted hasn’t stopped. We may do it by hoping we match on Tinder, expecting and anticipating the much-awaited proposal or even putting all of our hope, feelings and emotion into a dead end relationship.
But somewhere along the line, and in the midst of searching for love, we forget to remember the importance of loving ourselves. Many of us don’t ever even think about what it means. It may be because society tells us that as women and the our biological make up, we are programmed to be maternal, caring and loving of others – before ourselves. Or is it because we fall into the habit of underestimating the value of what self-love can do for our attitudes, confidence and general wellbeing. Or even, as one of our readers put it: “It’s just not instilled in us to do so.”
The definition of self-love is simple: regard for one’s own wellbeing and happiness. Surely, that would and should be the top of everyone’s list? But, for various different reasons unfortunately most of us depend on other people’s love to feel valued, worthy and accepted; in turn making us dependent on other people to boost our self-esteem.
The danger here is that it then becomes a vicious cycle of not feeling wanted and loved. Unless that is, we’re in a relationship or some type of situation-ship, where we feel needed and desired by the opposite sex, and even worse, where we are willing to go to desperate measures to feel that love and sadly, this happens more often than many of us would believe. However not all women think like this. There are the lucky few that have discovered that in love, putting number one first should always be a priority. Research has shown (statistic?) that when we learn to love ourselves for who we are, despite our insecurities, we begin to appreciate our worth and become a lot more confident and happy than ever before.
So how do you go about indulging in self-love? The answer is simple. Focus on depending on yourself to make you 100% happy. Nobody is perfect, we all have flaws, and we’re all responsible for building our self-esteem. As the saying goes, you can’t win if you aren’t right within.